Monday, April 21, 2014

Lost N' Found: Snail Knowledge

There is beauty is becoming lost for awhile.

Have you ever gotten into your car just to drive until you aren't exactly sure where you are?  You might be able to get back to a place you recognize, but for a time, you're lost...

Have you ever wondered around a city, just exploring and taking in the culture, sights, smells, sounds, and people?  You find yourself in a part of town you're unfamiliar with, and aren't exactly sure how you got to this place.  

Have you ever been so in love with someone you find your will is almost lost?  Your will is almost taken from you in moments and replaced (sometimes misplaced) in another individual or their needs.  You may or may not have claimed yourself IN love with them, but you LOVED them... which causes one to lose sight at times and be blinded in love - for better or for worse.

Have you been lost in someone's eyes?  Lost in a moment - good or bad?  Lost in thought?

I have been lost in all these aspects of life.  I have found the beauty in being lost... in being swept away in a moment, in time, in an individual, in thought.  It's amazing to let go of care or worry and just BE LOST...

I have also been the victim of getting lost... I've felt fear at not knowing where I was, wandering down alleys to try and find my way back to a hostel as it's getting dark.  I've felt the embarrassment of losing myself in a moment when it was neither the time, nor the place.  I've felt the pain in losing my emotions to another individual who didn't have the same intention to return my affection.  I've felt the loneliness of losing my way spiritually and separating my will from the will of my Father in Heaven, and Savior.

There are times when a hyper-emotionally-aware individual, such as myself, just needs the emotional release of letting go and losing yourself for just a time.  Sometimes, getting LOST is beautiful and strengthening!  How is there genuine joy in losing yourself?

Because in those moments, I sincerely believe we find ourselves. 

I have discovered more of who I truly am and who I truly want to be in moments where I have just "let go" and spent time wandering... As I often do, I relate things to religious parallels.  In recent discussions had, I looked back at the story of Moses parting the red sea for the children of Israel.  After the mighty miracle of walking on dry (not even muddy!) ground across the span of the sea and being safe the entire time, they spent years "wandering" in process toward the promise land.  Although God was guiding them, they often found themselves in lost moments... and they felt all the feelings you have (good and bad) in being lost. They had miracles given to them left and right and still felt lost at moments... still had trouble with trust and faith. However, within being lost, many of them sincerely found a relationship with Christ and built their true character.

There is beauty in getting lost.

Over the past few years, I have had numerous moments of being "lost," as I searched for the right place for grad school, the right job post-Germany, the right job post-graduate school, and within many other points in my life.  I filled time and kept wandering and striving toward discovery.  Looking back, it is SO clear how LED I was in my LOST state.  Heavenly Father always had my best interest at heart.  Personally, I can look back and see the past SIX YEARS aligning for me to have the job of Theatre teacher at my specific High School.  My current job was literally six-years in the making.  I can see one thing happening because of my choices, then another, then another.... God has said "never will I lave you; never will I forsake you." (Hebrews 13:5)  I was being LED while I felt slightly LOST in those moments.

My life right now is the same in certain aspects, and I just keep trusting that Heavenly Father is leading me on the path I need to be on... even if I seem a little bit "lost" right now, I feel like I am finding my true self, my true purpose, in the process of my wandering journey.... and it's worth the uncertainty and wait.  It's taught me to replace that uncertainty with FAITH.  Faith in my Savior, faith in myself, faith in others.... I am learning the true power and purpose of faith.

"Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the Lord thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee." - Deuteronomy 31:6

One last thing this has all taught me.  The power of patience.

I am known to be very patient with children (thank you nannying and teaching), and almost nothing else... Haha!  I want to lose weight faster.  I want the driver in front of me to move over so I can kick it into high gear.  I want my braces to come off sooner, and my hair to grow longer quicker.  I want my knee to heal faster so I can run again and lift legs.  I want my voice to be perfectly in shape again by tomorrow. I want all my questions to be answered at the snap of my fingers.... These wants aren't necessarily "bad," but I am recognizing Heavenly Father's hand guiding my impatient desires to allow me to actually learn something from and within each experience.  This instant-gratification woman must learn the beauty in every inch - in every line drawn - and not always rush to the final picture.  There is joy in the journey.... That's where we grow.  We grow when we are lost.

And what's the sweetest part about being lost?  You won't stay lost for forever... 
and there is also beauty in being found.  

Song of the Day:  This is perfect... listen to the lyrics!  "Snails see the benefit, the beauty in every inch!" Here is "Snails" by The Format!  I loved this band... :)  To see what inspired this pick, see the pictures in THIS LINK. Enjoy!