There's No Naivity - Merely Faith and Self-Trust

(Sidenote: Before I start I just want to let you know that I am excited to report Anoop Desai made it to the wildcard round, (they tried to scare us by making his name last) and then tonight made it into the top 13! Yep. The top 13 is right... They put him and another guy I kinda like named Matt up to be the last two to get their results from the judges. They told Matt he was through and Anoop hugged him and sadly smiled but said "thank you so much," and started to walk off... Then, they grabbed him and Simon said, "Anoop... We decided recently, we are going to make this a Top 13...” Such emotional manipulation. Haha! I was ecstatic to say the least - haha! I now have a reason to watch the season... :) )

Now, for the real reason I write... more substance. Haha!

I know that this week has been very stressful for many of my closest friends back at BYU... All week there have been some early wake-up calls, individual malnutrition, almost no time for homework or classes, and constant emotional, physical, and mental stress. There have been snide comments thrown there way from those who don't understand their reasoning for current actions or desires... and there have been friends who have have had to compete against one another, causing tensions. It's time for BYUSA elections all over again...

Now, for me, this causes a whole different set of feelings. First, I feel relief that I am no longer in college and can get away with doing my own thing and not putting my all into a campaign. I apologize if that offends anyone, but I did my part in campaigning the last two years and I was not feeling the need to jump back into that. I love many of those who were/are running and have no desire to choose a side this year... I am loving life on the other side. I mean, I can't even vote...

Second, I feel a bit sad. I mean, I put my all behind a certain campaign and really believed in them. I sacrificed all that was listed above and more... as did the candidates. We were successful, and they had the opportunity to take their place in the BYUSA Presidency and work hard to serve and love others. They have done an incredible job and it is a bit sad to think that what we we worked so hard for is coming to a close for them. Even though I wasn't at BYU anymore this year, I still felt like at times I was a part of their Presidency in a weird way... in spirit? I don't know. I do feel a bit sad that I was not there with them too... It's like I was and wasn't part of it all. All I know is that it feels a bit weird...

Anyway, as there has been so much backlash from the student body and school paper recently because of the elections, I felt I would give my thoughts on an organization I love and am still a part of in heart. This is ACTUALLY more about the power of the individual. It is something that has become so cliche to our generation and I don't know why. I do NOT like it.

See, I was writing my friend a little note last night and I was inspired. I realized that everything we do DOES affect someone and matter. Individuals matter, and one person can change things, inspire someone or things to change, or help them grow. Even if some people believe that BYUSA is there for reasons other than why those who work in there KNOW it is there, or that BYUSA efforts are in no way "wide-spread," there is something that has yet to be recognized. If someone can touch one student, help one student, serve one student... that IS a big deal. Every individual is a Child of God - a son or daughter of GOD - and thus, they are of great importance to our Heavenly Father... and hopefully to us as well. The people I know in that office have sincerely helped others grow inside and out of the office, and THAT is what truly matters.

I don't believe that the recent editorial, "Level With Us," in BYU's Daily Universe was completely incorrect in their thoughts and opinions. In fact, opinions are never WRONG... an opinion can not be wrong. It is simply the information that creates that opinion that can be accounted for as wrong. Sorry. Tangent.

Anyway, this article stated, "The president’s leadership only really influences those directly involved with BYUSA." This young man is SORELY mistaken - misinformed if you will, to create this opinion. :) Why, you ask, do I think he is mistaken?

If you teach one person to serve others, and they teach three more, and they teach one more, and that person has two children, then those two have families of ten and teach all twenty of those kids to serve... etc, etc - It slowly changes the world. Yes, I KNOW that sounds cliche to some - to a lot of people. It sound "over-optimistic" or "naive" to some, maybe even you... but that's cause they have lost the ability to dream like I do - hopefully like we all can learn to do a bit more in this life. They don't know how to believe in themselves wholeheartedly... Laugh all you will, but Dream Big is NOT just a song, and one person CAN change the world.

I will keep this child-like viewpoint and stay locked in this bubble of belief... I still have my eyes open to what's going on in the world. I know there is a lot of junky stuff going on, but my bubble, which is called the world, teaches me to have faith in myself, in others, and in our abilities to enact change and growth. Again, one person CAN change the world...

Jesus Christ was one man.

You know, I am just one girl, but if I know I have helped a few students believe in themselves at the school I work at... and that means the WORLD to them. It gives them courage and strength. That provides them with opportunities and experiences... It creates their world. And you know what? They don't even know that in turn, they have changed MY world. It's amazing how often that happens... That you get so much from the service you provide for others... It's a beautiful contradiction.

Oh, that sounds like a good song title... :)

*muah*

Song for the Day: This was hard today because I wanted to put something like Michael Jackson's Man in the Mirror in to talk about change, or some clever song about the power of the individual (I will not say power of one after the summer - haha!), but I decided to say PLEASE go check out Benton Paul's newest CD... His song Don't Go is somewhat hautning and asks the questions many have asked in realationships, but my favorite song on the album is called Paris. It is phenomenal! So, Benton Paul's, Paris.



What a beautiful song... Don't Go is good too though.... Haha. Just go order the whole CD and decide what the best song is... :) Or, go to the David Archuleta concert. He is opening for David... Clarifying note, I liked Benton Paul's music long before I knew who David Archuleta was. Haha...

(Sidenote: I think I am OBSESSED with putting videos on my blog now, just because I know how to do so now.... Sidenote: I think I am obsessed with writing sidenotes.)

You're My Best Friend...

My best friend is a little bit crazy like me - haha! She has a lot of "zip" to her and little bit of an attitude, but just enough to get her point across. She's a true southerner, and we both understand the idea of being sweet and having a bit of a "bite" to ya at the same time... She has a good heart and cares about others - her future profession as a nurse proves this even more. She loves music and has no qualms about dancing around the house with me, singing on a hairbrush at the top of her lungs... every day. She is talented, bright, intellectual, well-spoken and yet a wee bit blond at times, which makes her hilariously funny - and witty.

My best friend is ALWAYS there for me - even when I do or say something stupid... which I do a lot. She is patient with me, and kind to me. She cares about me and she wants me to be happy... as I want her to be. Our friendship really isn't normal... I know, that sound cheesy or weird, but it's true. Our friendship is so much deeper than a normal one... It will last. It is GENUINE. She is genuine... and that's hard to find.

I think we both found that together... being genuine I mean. We learned to be real through each other. Finally.

I have the BEST Best friend in the world... and at the current moment she is residing in Portugal. She is currently being an amazing example and serving a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. She has been out for almost five months, and has rocked it out there... I had no doubt she would. She was an amazing missionary before she left, and she teaches me something each week in her letters about being an even better missionary no matter where you are located. She really is incredible...

Yep... I have the best friend I could ever have in the world! She is a true inspiration to others, and a great teacher for me... I am beyond proud of her and SO happy she is serving our Heavenly Father. I love her a lot... and today, I really missed her.

I miss her a lot.

Everyone should know my best friend. Everyone should have a best friend like her... and so, I write to tell you about her, and how great she is.

Yep, I have the BEST best friend.
*muah*

Song of the Day: "Ramalama (Bang,Bang)" by: Roisin Murphy - AMAZING and completely BIZARRE - I love it. LOVE IT!



Here's a clip- though you should look up the whole song - with dancer's from So You Think You Can Dance! I found this clip tonight, but was thinking about the song in the shower this morning, imagining a dance to it - I know, I'm weird, but I do that a lot... - and this was almost EXACTLY what I pictured it being like!!! Thriller-esque... but mine was a bit more model-esque. Crazy!!! Enjoy - I know you will...

Teenage Tykes and Prowling Comparisons

Well, I certainly don't have a lot of time for an entry right now, but nonetheless I am going to make one... Sidenote: There will eb a few paragraphs of personal recollection for my posterity and self, and then I will move into my point.

As I sit here listening to my Boyz II Men and other classic old-school artist mix, I am contemplating my day. I really love the kids from my first year of subbing... I can not explain the connection that I have to these youth. It was in that year that I learned the joys of teaching - even if it's not what I wanna do for forever, it does bring me joy - and I learned that I could do hard things. I remember the first time I subbed for my mom's class - I was terrified! I was so worried that I was too young and that I wouldn't have the guts to discipline them... I was known as my mom's "cool, older daughter..." Boy, did I fool them. Haha!

Anyway, in that year I subbed for all the sixth grade teachers numerous times and completed a drama unit in there with each class - this was before their sixth grade rotated like middle schoolers. I learned that I could create my own lesson plans successfully and that I, in fact, did know how to discipline - and that kids need that. I learned that kids crave structure, but don't always know that. I'm not talking obsessive, inflexible, or uncreative structure, but enough structure to present a comfortable and defined space...

Anyway, I love these youth with all of my heart. They are my little "babies," and when I tell them that they roll their eyes and laugh at me - then the boys hit their chests and say, "Please, I'm a man - I'm no baby." Haha! Well, today I was talking with my little protege/ mini me after school. Her name is Lynzie too - but spelled like that. She reminds me SO much of me at her age... more than I want to admit at times! Haha... When my mother first met her, she called to tell me about her and how I had to come in and meet her someday because she was me when I was in sixth grade... We have been close ever since.

So, where is this all leading... It could lead to a million and one discussions, but today I have a certain point in mind. Relating back to Lynzie - I was talking with her before the basketball kids had to go take closing year pictures. She was going off about she had all this "funny drama" in her life and had "SO" much to tell me... Haha! She is so dramatic and funny.... Love it! Anyway, she said she wanted to do lunch sometime but we had different lunch breaks - which is true because I am down working with third grade when it's her lunch time. I know and work with her mom, so I said that if it was okay with "mama Lynzie," and Lynzie got all of her makeup work (she was in Hawaii for a week) in before Wednesday for Parent/Teacher conferences, then I would take her out on Friday for lunch after school... It's a short day on Fridays at our school.

So, we made our little pact and I am excited to take her for a special lunch - She's like another little sister, and since my sister and I are SO different it's nice to have another one to look out for. Sidenote: I am having dinner and movie night with my sister, Nattie, tomorrow, so don't worry - I am not forgetting her in any way! Haha!)

Now, on to MY POINT. Finally, I know!

When I was talking with Lynzie about her current drama she stated was talking about her love to be different, but feeling of need to be like her big sister - really good at all sports, quieter and more chill, really popular and skinnier... Lynzie is the opposite- like me. She's active and loves to play sports, but can't do them all and doesn't really desire too. She is a curvy girl and very vivacious... she has a loud, quick mouth on her. She's really popular, but it's not because of the "in-crowd" thing. She is simply known and loved by everyone, but not a girl who hangs out with the "popular girls" - the real definition of popular in my opinion.

Anyway, I told her that was something we were going to work on not doing so much - comparing herself to others. I use to be SO horrible at this, but I have learned to be really happy within myself. I really like who I am, and though at times I have moments that I envy someone because of the way they look or something they can do, I have come to realize that I am my own kind of beautiful and I can do many great things too - even if they are different.

(I think I wrote about this like two months ago, but I am doing it again if I already did.)

I believe that comparing yourself to others is on of the biggest tools of the devil. The adversary wants us to believe that we are "less" because we aren't like someone else... We think we have to be as good at the piano as little "Betty" over there or we aren't worthy to play the piano... We think we suck at basketball because our brother is better than us. That does NOT mean you are bad, just not as strong at that. However, you might have the ability to talk in front of large groups and your brother can not so that to save their lives. Everyone has different strengths and weaknesses, which is what (thankfully) makes us unique individuals.

Here's my deal: Difference in our world is praised in children television programs (and hopefully, the home), but then the world tells kids to do what others do... There is pressure from society, friends, and sometimes even family, to be a certain way, look a certain way - be a particular size, do certain things, and that will make you either successful or cool.

Now, I am not just talking about peer pressure to drink or smoke... There is pressure to do good things as well, but at times I think we push it too far. Example, society pushes us to be healthier, but then they point to a skinny woman and say, 'That is healthy,' when some of them have eating disorders to be their size. Example two, teachers in this area will tell you that parents around here are pushing our kids to be really involved in extra-curricular activities to the point that school becomes second place, or to the point that their kids are exhausted and stressed to the max. YES, we should get our kids involved! I plan to enroll my kids in many things over time and let them discover what their passions are... However, I am not going to run my child ragged because they need to be at football practice and karate class, then piano lessons and community show choir practice, followed by church mutual and ward basketball practice, then two hours of homework, and then have them get up the next morning for a day full of NEW activities till we never have time for family dinner and important things like family prayer or scripture study. There is a point where we are pushing the children too hard to be involved...

Involved, active, and hard-working but... Moderation in ALL things. That is what makes a happy and well-rounded person. I think that we tend to put pressure on ourselves and others to be the best "Billy or Betty" and not their best self. We should be helping them realize what their strengths and weaknesses are, and why both are okay and important...

Ultimately, we should be teaching our children and selves to be more Christ-like and that would solve everything... I mean, the Lord gives us weakness so we will come unto him. Then through our faith (and the trial of our faith) we will, with his help, make those weak things strong. Once we realize that our job is not to "be different" or "fit in," but to simply be more like our Savior, then we will truly find our best selves and grow to no longer feel the need to compare ourselves to anyone... We are made WHOLE through Christ - our whole selves. I love that thought.

Anyway, the short end of the stick is to believe in your Savior and remember that the ONLY person you or anyone needs to be like is our Savior, Jesus Christ. I hope that I can help Lynzie see this when we talk on Friday - that she does not need to be anything but the best Daughter of God that she can be... and the best version of a Christ-like Lynzie that there can be! :) I hope we can all remember that... :)

Song for the Day: It should be in the tone of the article, I know, however.... The best version of me says to do my own thing and pick whatever I want... and I am currently obsessed with a song I hear on an old Lois and Clark rerun that I downloaded yesterday....


The song for today is Eric Clapton's, Old Love. This song is soulful, sweet blues that makes you be relaxed and lovin' life, but contemplating the past... It is my current obsession in a song.

*muah*

P.S. I need to post some Celine stuff soon - I went to her concert and it was the BEST thing of my entire life. NO exaggerations. It was AMAZING!!! (I am "dwasking" - dwelling and basking - in the bliss of her voice...)

Current Melodic Obsessions & Am Idol: Fiction vs Truth - (I had to write about it eventually!)

I am trying to make a conscience effort to blog more... I use to be an incredible journaler. (Sidenote: "Journaler is coming up as a "non" word, if you will... I am using it anyway.) I use to write in my journal every day to every other day and record every major AND minor detail, event, and/or conversation I had. I look back now and realize that this was a bit superfluous at times... For exmaple, when I was writing about the way a boy said a certain thing, or what each of my friends was wearing at a stake dance... Yea. I was an avid journaler. However, as "superfluous" some of these writings may seem, I am grateful that I have them and that my kids can one day look back and laugh at "dear, old Mom" and her passionate dabbles.

Now, I was contemplating what to write about today and decided of those things listed two entries ago, I have written about two and have a few more to write about it in order to record what is desired by me at this time. I write so cheesy sometimes... :) Thus, today I will be again combining two as I discuss things that again may appear "superfluous," and yet I know I will be grateful one day for having recorded.

I want to discuss my Current Melodic Obsessions, along with my thoughts on he current season of American Idol: Fiction verses Truth...

Okay, so everyone who knows me should know that I am obsessed with music... Well, currently I have been downloading like mad as I have been sick in bed. I have found a few new bands/artists that I believe others should bask in.... (Man, this is not a very in depth entry, but there is always room for a bit of "superfluousness!")

First, Cash Cash... I posted one of their songs as one to check out last entry, but I just have to mention them again... These four boys are from New Jersey and have recently released their debut album. Frankly, they are a pop/rock band that has a huge 80s twinge, and their songs do NOT all sound the same. Each song is unique, the lyrics are decent and inventive - perhaps a little bit "sarcastic" about trends at times, and the vocals are good too. They sometimes wear clothing that should be illegal past 1989, and yet they make it look fun. I love them, and as I said before they are the perfect dancing-around-your-room or driving-around-on-a-Friday-night music! Check em'... ( myspace.com/cashcash )


Second, Take That. This is a British boy band formed in 1990... So, needless to say, they aren't really boys anymore - haha! They have made lots of great records, won many awards, and their tours in England still sell out in minutes. My favorite song of theirs is a single from a few years ago, Patience, however they have MANY great songs! There most recent album is called Circus and is rather good as well... A lot of people know about them, and I discovered them five or six years ago, but a lot of Americans focus only on Robbie Williams (a former member of the band), when the band as a whole is even better - in my opinion... Look em' up and take a listen is you haven't heard them before... I'm sure you'll find you have indeed heard them before - haha!

Next, Justin Nozuka. Many of you know this guy from his hit song this past summer entitled After Tonight. He has a very similar sound to Jason Mraz, as well as past Am. Idol contestant, Jason Castro. I adore his music (new single Golden Train is awesome!) and if he was coming close enough on his tour this next month I would go see him... I still might head to LA the last week of March and try to see him play live cause I think it would be an amazing show. He is touring with Missy Higgins, who is also AMAZING... Plus, he's a good lookin' kid, so... Haha! Check out Justin Nozuka, and you will most likely love him if you like "neo-soul, folk, old-time blues and pop." (justinnozuka.com)

These next few are going to be shorter in listing... Hayley and Marlee are two girls from Cali who have some very awesome songs on their myspace page (myspace.com/hayleynhernandez) and Hayley was actually a girl we met this summer at EFY. Her and her sister have great voices, and their songs have awesome, unique lyrics... They're stuff is "un-digitized" too, which is cool.

Jesse McCartney's last album Departure is awesome. Don't be a hater... He is fun to listen to even if his stuff is a little "ghetto wannabe," he's a cutie-pie, and he wrote Bleeding Love, performed by Leona Lewis - talent on her part singing, his part writing. Listen to his album.

VOTA (Formerly "Casting Pearls") - Their song is free on ITunes this week, and there is nothing more than a GOOD, free song on ITunes... A lot of the ones they make freebies are decent at times, and often downright horrible. However, I have plans to buy their entire album! They are a gospel/christian rock band, and are influenced largely by the Casting Crowns (a group I like - I have some of their stuff). I have listened to many of their songs online and I like their sound and songs A LOT! Go download their song for free, and you'll see what I mean... You'll love em'!

Erin McCarley was another person that was featured on ITunes's as their weekly free song a few months back... She is incredible. I bought her album on the spot and listen to it very frequently... She sounds like Sara Bareilles a bit (also compared to Lenka, Ingrid Michaelson, and Missy Higgins), which is why I fear she has not taken off yet. Sara is SO good, and popular right now, that I feel people are stuck only to her for that particular sound... Erin McCarley is equally good and unique, as are her lyrics - so great! She is featured on the "He's Not That Into You" Soundtrack! myspace

- I encourage everyone to check out the new album from The Fray.
- The Veronicas' album Hook Me Up from last year - you probably know the song "Untouched" - as they are my FAVE band right now!
- Provo, Utah's locals, Ben Truman (or The Trumans) who has a great voice and classically fun lyrics and guitar style. Also, check Benton Paul (his album, Grey), who has been mentioned by The Jonas Brothers recently and is also a big deal around Utah - that's starting to spread.
- Flo-rida's album.... I just love him and his beats... can't be BEAT! Haha - I am so punny. Nevermind... Hm.
- AND, I will always give a shout out to little David Archuleta's album... classic pop with a GREAT voice behind him. I love that kid!

LAST, I will get to my most current vocal, melodic obsession, which leads me into talking about this season of American Idol.... My most current musical obsession is this Anoop Desai from my beloved side of the the country - the south! Anoop, also known on the show as 'NoopDog, has not had a lot of air time, but don't think I'm crazy when I say I've already checked him out, along with the other front-runners in the competition. When the audition rounds were on TV I took note of those that I liked, the judges or producers raved about, and those who just stood out. Then, I looked em' up on YouTube to see what came up, as I was recently told that this can have a huge effect on making it onto multiple rounds of judging. In fact, I was told that producers check out those who make it past first round online, and have a pre-made list of people to look for- info created via YouTube, Myspace, and music sights... I have NO doubt that this is true.

Anyway, back to the current topic...

Anoop was one that I liked from the get go, the judges seemed to like, and he definitely stood out. He's not a guy who looks or talks like he would sing R&B well, but he knows how to use his golden tones, and he blows your mind with his random hip hop swagger. This 22 year-old from North Carolina dresses like a preppy, southern college boy - which he is, and that reminds me completely of home (VA!). He is a bright grad student at UNC and talks rather respectfully in interviews & during his audition, and with quick wit. He made is to the top 36 after not very much air-time, but already appeared popular with America. He does not carry the normal R&B persona in dress, speech, action, or swagger, but he sings like a smooth R&B angel!

Speaking of angels, he sang "Angel of Mine" by Monica this past week during the show and did really well... Randy commented on him being sharp in places, and I can pick it out twice... Otherwise, he sounded on to me (and I have nearly perfect pitch) and sounded AMAZING at that. Plus, his stage presence was great. Now, the new format of the show is important to know. They have twelve of the 36 sing each week for the next three weeks, and only three make it through to be in the top 12. Then, 9-10 are called back by the judges choice on the fourth week and three of them make it to the next round, by the judges choice again. Anoop was number four this week in voting, and thus was "sent home." However, I have no doubt by comments that were made that he will be a wild-card contestant and picked as part of the top 12...

In all honesty there aren't that may really great voices this year (esp. girls, actually), so I think that they kind of need him, but need to keep him down at first and build him. It's all about the show aspect you know... I think people forget that sometimes... That the main thing about Am. Idol is it IS a show first, and a competition second. People think it is the other way around, but it's not... It's all about how they show contestants, the air time someone gets, and the ones that the producers push even affects how those at home vote. I mean, look at last year... David Archuleta was praised from the beginning and received a lot of air time. For example, when someone else was singing they would show him in the audience watching or his reactions over the other contestants... Those few seconds of air time are crucial, and if presented right can sway voters opinions. Then they really made-over David Cook and began to talk him up, adn give him more air time too... They started putting Archuleta down from time to time, but never Cook, but would claim one or the other "winner of the night" before the top five were even chosen. Early on, you could tell that the ending competition would be between those two.

You can see this year that Danny Gokey will at LEAST be in the top two... hands down. And, he's really good and seems like a genuine guy, but he also gets more air-time, more talk about him, and more praise than any of the others put together.

That's what one has to remember about the show... It's all about what the producers want you to see and the judges want you to hear.

This season there is also this girl named Tatiana (pictured right, and I struggled bolding her name) on there... She's got a pretty good voice actually, but she is CRAZY. Serious, crazy! I mean, I am sure she is a very sweet girl, but... Yea. Anyway, she is shown on TV as purely fame driven, and insane - part of this persona has to be true, but the other half could be completely misconstrued. She doesn't choose what film shots and moments go on air... Anyway, the real reason I wanted to mention her is because I felt like her presence on the show was all about publicity and causing drama... The fact that she made the top 36, and others who were much better were cut - like David Osmond or Michael Castro, made me realize how staged this show really is. I knew that before, but this was a whole new level... She is there to cause conversations, drama, and make a show. It's all about your story and the story you can help create with who you are...

That's why I should be on a reality show - haha! I would make a GREAT addition to making a fun story to watch...

Anyway, my point now? When Anoop is back on, which he will be - no doubt - watch him and vote for him... He would have a great album and be a good role model. Plus, he's representin'' for us southerners! Haha... :)

Here is a video clip of Anoop performing with the UNC Clef Hangers - their Ac Capella group that is QUITE awesome if you ask me... He is singing Boyz II Men's classic song, "I'll Make Love To You," apparently Anoop's "classic song" and "senior solo" choice - a good one if you ask me... (Check out their performances of Buy You A Drank, Sexy Love, Crazy Love, Kiss Kiss, and She Has No Time) I love me some Vocal Point, but Anoop does lead for these guys on a lot of R&B stuff and is GREAT! Enjoy, and check out some new music this week!




*muah*

P.S. If you can think of music that I should try checking out that I might not have already, let me know - I LOVE finding new artists and sounds!!! :)

Middle School Dance-Floor Syndrome...

Now, I finally had some sense and went to InstaCare today to get some medication to sooth my ailment... Yea. I should have done that a lot sooner because I already feel a million and one times better. My head has ceased it's obsessant pounding my jaw is finally free from the raw throbbing. I went from being a crying mess of pain and disoriented-ness this morning - no one should ever have to see my that way... It was freakin' my mom out a bit... - to a calm, smiling girl who could happily watch today's episode of American Idol, paint my nails, and even cook myself some eggs for dinner. This morning, I was in so much pain that all of those things would have been a no-go.

Anyway, thus, I am here and writing another thrilling and mind-stirring article for my personal blog. Now, what should I choose to write about... Admist the things that were listed yesterday I will have to go with one idea that will not take me forever to write about, as it is already almost midnight and I should be sleeping... Hmmm... So, I believe that I will choose Middle School Syndrome w/ an EFY Twist along with a few words on Progression on the Job Front. Done and done.

Now, what do I mean when I am talking about the middle school syndrome... Let me tell you a little bit about last Friday, the day before Valentine's Day. It was no normal day at the school where I work... See, all the young tikes were already hopped up on sugar and excitment before they even got to school. Then, you put them at school for the sole purpose of having them party with one another for a few hours... Let's just say, at least it was a short day. Haha!

So, let me relate to the story... One of the girls in my single's ward was getting married on Saturday morning and she also happens to be a teacher at my school. She is in charge of the Middle School student council and I offered to help her out with the Valentine's dance on the afternoon of the 13th as I knew she would not be around... She accepted gratefully and I proceeded to help by getting the crowns for the "Valentine king and queen" - a process that took two hours - and then met the student council kids (all kids I know well) before the dance began, to help get things set up. Well, it turns out I ended up being placed in charge of all the youth and chaperones. Yea. I don't know how that happened, but it did... and it was fine.

Now, comes the realization... You know in movies and books how they claim that at middle school dances all the boys stay on one side and all the girls on the opposite side? When I was in middle school, that was not the case. We all danced together, if we danced, and had fun. There was some separation, but it was not that dramatic.... On Friday, it was that dramatic. Yea.

I literally was in shock as I walked around talking to each group and pushing the boys and girls to go toward one another. One brave boy was dancing the entire time with the huge group of girls, but the other boys were either playing hacky sack in the corner or crowded in a circle not going for it - too scared... I had never seen anything really like this! It was bizarre! If they were smart (which they are, but it's a figure of speech) the boys would have run over to the group of girls and started dancing. See, girls at that age - or any age really - don't really care if you can dance well, it is just that you have fun, are fun, and try. It's a plus if you can dance well, but you're not even on the scale if you don't try.

It also did not help that they only had about fifteen to twenty songs on the approved list... hm.

Anyway, I spent the hour and a half pushing the boys to dance with the girls and rarely succeeding for the first hour. Finally, Derek - my bro, who aids at the school - pulled the boys from the b-ball team aside and gave them stategies... It was CLASSIC. I was rolling... Then, when that still failed to ignite the fire under their feet, I taught all the boys and girls an EFY dance move from my first year as a counselor. They all loved it and were doing it the rest of the time, all while making a giant circle and taking turns going through doing classic middle school moves... Like the sprikler, the lawn mower, the worm, party boy... classic.

It was among these few hundred youth that I noticed (EPIPHANY TIME!) I loved teaching this age of kids. I love working with young teenagers who need the extra support to figure out who they are. I go to all of these kids basketball games and plays. I helped a few of them with their science fair projects when I didn't have to. I have spent time talking with many of them after school about their little relationship dramas and crushes. More important, many of them have come to me over the past three years when they have been stuggling in school or at home. A few have come to me, outside of school of course, to ask me questions about my testimony and how they can feed/gain their own - this is legit if it is only two or three kids at a time and not in a classroom setting. I have had moments over the years where it wasn;t about teaching math, english, or theater skills... It was about teaching character and life skills. I love those moments more than anything else. I love knowing that I have helped an individual grow from a child to a young adult... from a member of the crowd to a free-thinking independent.

I don't want to teach for forever, but I could do it for a time. Also, I could come back to it someday and love it... I really like high schoolers because they are ready to go and conquer things. I don't have to mold them as much. I like the younger kids because they are so innocent and durn cute! They are really dependent upon you... However, I think that my favorite kids are the middle schoolers... They just need more. They need more love and help... They need teachers who can stand as confidants as well.... I like being that to these kids.

I am going to have a real hard time when this year's group of eighth graders leave... They were my little babies by first year subbing there. I know so many of them and have watched them grow and change over the past three years. I love these kids...

That being said, my progress on the job front is very "up-in-the-air" right now. I have applied for some positions in D.C. and LA, but I know that there are numerous departments at my school that have asked to have me on a teacher of aid for next year. My only deal with that is that I need to make more than what I am currently making... I like what I do, but I don't love it. Therefore, if I am going to stay there I would like to move up and do something a little bit different.

I need to find a summer job. Ideas, anyone? EFY is out. I didn't even apply for Sports and Dance Camps, though many said too... I knew I would play it safe and not look anywhere else. Now, the world is open to me and I really need a summer job or paying internship. If anyone knows some good ones, holla my way! I would love to move somewhere, but at the same time staying here would save me more money... So, anything in the SLC/Provo valley areas would be nice till I spread my wings and really fly away... I also need to be somewhere that I can keep writing music. I am onto song three and I am loving it - LOVING IT!!!

Speaking of which, the song for today... Hm. So, in honor of classically awkward, and yet awesome and fun, middle school dances: Sugar Rush By: Cash Cash.

They are this new electronica/ indie/ pop band with an 80s twinge - I stumbled across their CD a few weeks ago and I LOVE them... They're way fun to dance and drive too. Check out Sugar Rush and the rest of their CD for music to dance to! Maybe if the middle school had THIS CD to play at the dance, things would have been different...

Then again, maybe not. :)

*muah*

Extra EXTRA Virgin... Classic.

Wow, I have not been writing as much as I would like to be... Thus, I am going to have to spend this week catching up. Currently, I am sick in bed anyway with a nasty ear infection, so I should have no trouble taking time each day to sit up and write a little something. Besides, I have developed so many different opinions from so many different things in the past few weeks that I will have no problem creating prompts for me entries... :)

I think I should explain my status physically right now... Tomorrow I have some real interesting ideas for an entry - Lois Lane's Alter Ego, Coming to a Place with No Need for Agency (sounds drastic, but not what one may think - It's positive - promise.), Current Melodic Obsessions, Middle School Syndrome w/ an EFY Twist, Progression on the Job Front, American Idol: Fiction verses Truth... etc, etc.

Anyway, This past week and a half I have spent my time sick on and off... Mostly on. It started with sinus headaches last Friday through Sunday. They were so ad that I would lie in bed with a hot rice bag or cold washcloth on my face, all the lights out, and the only sound being the fan going around for white noise. These were the WORST headaches I have ever experienced - even worse than my monthly migraine. However, these went away, or at least dimmed sufficiently.

Next, this Saturday morning I began having a terrible ear ache and realized that my sinus infection had spread to a middle ear infection... Terrible! Thus, I have spent the last few days miserable. I took lots of drugs and was able to make it out for a fun time with friends on Valentine's Day, but upon my drive home (I had a dinner at Sarina's that evening) I started feeling crumby again... I could not even sleep through the night. It was miserable -and it still kinda sucks, but I'm doing better.

Sunday morning, there was no hope for me to get to church. Haha! I had my brother and family home teacher come over to give me a blessing because I was in so much pain... Well, the blessing itself was awesome and just what I needed - I am feeling better already. However, during the anointing we had a funny little moment. Which brings me to a classic story...

Brother Dunn (family home teacher) was doing the anointing and he couldn't get the oil out. Suddenly, he gasped and I felt something cold all over my neck. Yea. He had squeezed the bottle of oil too hard and it had poured ALL over my hair, neck, and shirt... Plus, his pants and the carpet. I tried to be serious, but even as crappy as I felt it was very funny... :) We were all dying laughing. After the blessing I went upstairs to show my mom my head and she and Cami were rolling with laughter. I guess they just wanted me to be an extra, EXTRA virgin... :)

*Virgin Olive Oil - That's what I meant by that, in case someone didn't get that...*

Ah... That was a funny moment... :) I also took the best shower of my life after that incident - haha! :)

Anyway, today I went to InkHeart with my family and that was pushing it - My head made it through the movie, but near the end the pressure was beginning to build and I felt sick/dizzy again... Yea. So, I came home and slept until six-thirty, ate some dinner, watched some TV, and am now writing in here as I wait for the sleeping medication to kick in and zonk me out for the evening. I took some ambien last night to help me sleep and it was fabulous because it KNOCKED ME OUT! I need that again, and thus took another pill along with Ib Profen to help me sleep till late morning. I am suppose to have a CU (Cougar United) Reunion tomorrow night, but I am now sincerely doubting I am going to make it there... Sad.

Sidenote: InkHeart was good - not a favorite, but well done and a unique story - I think I will like it more when I am not half dizzy during the ending too...

Song for tonight - In honor of my few days of health, I have to pick a song by Katy Perry. I hate her song I Kissed a Girl... HATE IT. However, the rest of her CD is so classic, and thus, Sam and I went to her concert this past Tuesday in SLC and she was SO entertaining! She sounded good live, had a unique style, and told some hilarious, classic stories... In fact, she was one of the funniest people I have ever seen in concert - ever! So great!

So, in honor of that awesome concert I will post a few pictures of the concert below and say the song for tonight is her newest single - it's been out awhile now, but I love it - Thinking of You. It's a good song - tugs at the heart strings and I think many people have felt "this way" at some point in time... I also attatched a video of her singing it at The Venue in SLC too - she was great!

This is Sam and I before the concert began - waiting and ready for Katy!

The picture on the left is Katy singing Lost and below is Katy and her main guitarist during her encore in the "Kitty Perry suit!" Classic...

The Unity of Hope - Inauguration Day

On Tuesday, January 20, 2009 the United States of America swore in its 44th President - President Barack Obama. He's a man that I believe has experiences that are much needed. He has the ability to demand attention and results. He is diplomatic and will be able to work well as a liaison between countries and other diplomats. He loves this country and understands the challenges that face us, and he . He brings what he stands for - HOPE. He makes us feel like his slogan is real, because it is - YES WE CAN.

I couldn't help but feel that no matter who you were originally supporting, or how you feel about Barack Obama himself, one can not deny the power that was felt behind Tuesday's ceremony. I felt proud to be an American for many reasons, and I felt at peace about what was to come... the good and the bad. I feel that even though our country has problems - economically, socially, etc. - we have people (not just Obama and his office) that want to solve them. I am overwhelmed by our ability to break down barriers and overcome walls, and see us working toward overcoming other prejudices. If you think about it, we had a woman, black man, and a Mormon running - These are all large steps for America. Though I don't feel we have overcome all of our prejudice gender wise, racially, or religiously, I believe we are making the correct steps toward doing so. Today, I feel proud of American's.

As the speech was presented and the swearing in took place, I felt a sense of unity and comradeship... As Obama stated in his inauguration speech:

"On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord."

We must keep this untied feeling alive. The sixth graders were talking about unity today in my mom's class because there has been major gossip problems lately, and they asked me to come talk to them about gossip and how it ununifies us... My quote was (I felt proud of this):

"It takes all of us to be unified, but it only takes one to start the process of unity."

My Bishop gave a little lesson at Family Home Evening on Monday night about looking forward, and not being able to let go of the past. He was relating more to us holding to our sins and not forgiving ourselves for our mistakes. However, it can also apply to being stuck in past experiences, and how staying stuck in the past can hold us back. I thought about the times I have held myself back because I have had a hard or bad experience, or even on tests how I get shook up when I know that I don't have any idea what the answer it and have, therefore, gotten one wrong and can't seem to do the rest of the test successfully.

We can not do this with America's problems... We must forge forward and not let the past determine our future. We are asked to learn from our mistakes and keep progressing - not to stay stuck in the mistake. We must forge forward... and I truly believe that from our options, Obama was, and is, the best one to help us move forward. Yes We Can - It's not fluff, it's faith.

I think Obama is a great public speaker & great with presentation... However, I think it is more than that. I don't just roar over a great speaker - I have to many friends who are good at it. I fell that I am good at it... There is something more to his speeches for me. I don't just feel like he is speaking hoped truths, though hope is a classic motto of his. I believe that he is speaking belief - he believes in the power of change that we can make, and the ability America has a a country, as well as the individuals within its boarders. Again - It's not fluff, it's faith.

I know what many of my friends are going to think reading this - and I understand that you might not all agree. That is why I was hesitant to ever write political feelings - or even relate back to the political arena. However, these are my opinions and I stand beside them.

Now, in relation to my personal life, I loved something that was said in the inaugural speech that inspired me and sparked the fire of dreams and ambition within me once again... That has been happening a lot lately. Obama spoke saying:

"The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.

In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of short-cuts or settling-for-less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted — for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things..."

I am working hard on my heart of golden stone... Haha! In other words, my desires require unique kindness and an ability to create relationships and friendships. Additionally, I must be strong enough to face the hardships and work with all my might. Gold is the purity of the heart's center, but the outer-surface is stone - tough enough to push through trying times.

I also love how this statement says everyone deserves their moment to "pursue their measure of happiness." Our "full" happiness... I believe that to. There are so many ways that we can achieve that happiness, but whichever path someone chooses to do so, they should be able to receive the fullness with good choices and hard work. My church believes that too... and I love that.

One more quote if you will:

"Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort.."

If only each of us, me included, could always maintain this form of thinking and be guided by the purity of our values.... We would each be better off and happier in our lives, as would the entirety of the world.

Song for today: In relation to changing the world and sticking to our feeling of unity, the song I choose for today is:
Brett Dennen's, Ain't No Reason - an incredible song about unifying ourselves and making a difference... (Check out the music video here, because THAT is the most amazing part of the song - this video is SO moving! - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amwVyRH2B8A )


*muah*

(P.S. I was going to put "We're All In This Together" as the song... Then I thought about it.)