Thursday, May 7, 2015

Things That I KNOW.

I know my Savior lives.  I know He lives and that He undoubtably loves me NO MATTER WHAT... He is in my corner.

I know my Father in Heaven wants me to succeed, and will guide me through all things in my life if I let Him - if I listen.  I have faith that He will lead me through my trails and keep me safe and protected if I merely give over my trust and faith to Him.  I have had trouble doing this in my life - REALLY trusting the Lord and not trying to control every aspect of my life.  These past few months, with everything that has happened in my life, I have HAD to give over a lot more control... It was HARD.  It IS hard sometimes... but once I do it, life is SO much more simple...

I know the Lord is there to catch me when I fall.  I know my Heavenly Father has sent a Savior to redeem me and even the playing field... through Him, I can do ALL things.  I can overcome all the proverbial and legitimate bull that life throws my way.  I CAN do hard things...

I've been doing morning meditation for the past six months, and let me tell you that one mantra I've been using is, "I am strong.  I am independent.  I am free.  I can do hard things."  It is through my Savior I have come to actually believe these morning statements.  I AM strong.  I AM independent.  I AM free.  I CAN do hard things..... because of HIM.

"What is impossible with men, is possible with God..." - Luke 18:27 --> My favorite.

Truth.  That is what this statement is - complete truth.

Another thought of truth - "A grateful heart is a magnet for miracles."  I could use s few of those- we all could... and so I'm taking the time to say THANK YOU to the man that matters most - the man that makes it all happen.  ALL things are possible with God...

Song of the Day:  I have so many current song obsessions - choosing one is rough.  It must be done, however, so.... here's a girly anthem for summer that will drive most men nuts.  It's one of my current running and slow-drive jams!  Here is G.RL. with "Ugly Heart."  LOVE - Enjoy!

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Half a Year.

Six months from today, I will be 30 years-old.  That's right - 30.

That's a third of 90.  That's half of 60.  Need me to do more math, because I can...

Point is, I have 6 months to do some epic shiz in attempt to make this the most epic birthday year ever because of the person I will be at that 30 year mark.  I've already made some incredibly big and poignant changes in the past two years, but things have gotten tighten up.  To quote a million rappers and famous athletes, "It's about to get real..."

Not because it wasn't real before, but because it's time for a higher level.  I'm not even gonna say, once the aneurysm is gone I'll get going... I'm starting TODAY.  Just watch the next six months play out... I'm ready for big things.

It's documented.  I'm accountable.

That is all.

Song of the Day:  I discovered this girl the other evening - well, I think I had heard her before, but I finally listened to her whole CD - and I adore her.  I adore her sound, songs, and style... Here is Banks with "Beggin For Thread."  Enjoy!

Monday, May 4, 2015

Angiograms and Happy Dances!

Today, I learned what an Angiogram is, and how in-depth it can be... WHY did I learn this you ask?

Today, I had an Angiogram.

Now, your next question may or may not be the same as mine.... What the HELL is an angiogram and WHY did you have to have one?  Good question.

If you did not/do not know what an angiogram is, don't feel ashamed... I had one today and I STILL didn't understand fully until I was actually IN the procedure.  An angiogram is (dictionary definition), "an imaging test that uses x-rays to view your body's blood vessels. Physicians often use this test to study narrow, blocked, enlarged, or malformed arteries or veins in many parts of your body, including your brain, heart, abdomen, and legs."  In fifth grade terms, they hook me up to a bunch of machines by running a cord into me to my brain through my thigh and inject dye to see the different parts of my brain.  I was fully awake during the tests and they put all the videos and pictures in front of me right after to explain options and what each picture meant - it was awesome!  The worst part about the whole thing was when the stent in my thigh didn't catch and they had to push down and put pressure on the wound sight for 20 MINUTES afterward!  I thought I would die for a minute - saw the blinding light and did NOT go to it - but it was fine. :)  Thank the Lord above for a high pain tolerance!

For those who do not recall from a few entries back, I was diagnosed in March with a brain aneurysm in my carotid artery.  I've felt symptoms that somewhat tie to this for the past few weeks, but mostly I just have to deal with "taking things slow and light" and focus on killing the Lyme in my body.  So, today they did this test in order to determine the exact procedure and next steps we can and will take to get rid of and defend against this aneurysm.  The doctor I worked with today (amazing doctor!) came out before the procedure to talk options he already was considering and what he felt was the best route.  I knew I liked him immediately when he stated that he thought monitoring was a dumb option too.... I wanna live a full-go-get-em life, and background worry about an aneurysm bursting could harness that greatly.  He suggested a pipeline stent, and after testing, that's what we've decided to do.

The best part about this news... No open brain surgery! That's a lot safer and less potential for infection.  Also......

........ I get to keep my hair!!! Call me shallow.  Call me stupid for thinking about this.  I really don't give a flying... I love my hair.  I've spent a LONG time getting it to the wondrous flowing locks it's at now... Therefore, I was not wanting to cut/shave any section of it.  Now, if this was life or death and they needed to, I'm all in!  However, since they don't have too, I'm allowed to do a slight celebratory dance in my heart.  I'm not allowed to actually dance for a few days while I recover from the stent they put in my thigh today post testing.  So, heart dance it is!!!

*moment of silence for my dance to occur*

Moving onward, I'm happy to have answers and a more definitive direction to move with getting to optimal health and body.  I'm excited to take care of these issues and no longer struggle with brain and memory issues.  I'm killing Lyme, and we're taking control of this aneurysm... and today, I am SO grateful for the gift of modern medicine to aide in this process.   I am grateful for the support of friends and family, pushing me to look into my health and take care of myself.  I am thankful for my body, and the amazing things it can do...

Happy dance, carry on.  Linze, carry on.

Song of the Day:  For those not aware, I am really chasing the music thing as of late.  I've started a thing on YouTube called #newmusicmonday where I post a new cover every Monday and encourage friends and family to like, listen, and share.  So, in honor of #newmusicmonday and my working vocal chords (my therapy the past two months), here is this week's cover - a Sia song, "Soon We'll Be Found."  Enjoy!