Auditioning with Songs of Pneumonia!

So... who really ever gets pneumonia? Oh, Linze does - Linze does. Haha! I am lying in bed right now somewhat miserable from the coughing, breathing troubles, sore throat, fever, runny nose, and congestion and yet more upset about missing my final week of EFY than actually being sick. I am hoping to feel better by Tuesday afternoon so that I can return to the EFY field for my final week. I would hate to miss my final week with my team and not get that experience with them... I do NOT wan to to get anyone from my team or any of the youth sick, but I want to share this last week with them and the other counselors.

However, I do leave in a week and a half for New York City for auditions and need to have full voice by then. Oh, did I not share that yet??? I was unable to audition in SLC for American Idol, so Jan and I are flying back East for a vacation and so that I can audition for AI back there. I know that chances are less than 1% and I might not have the perfect "look," but if they are looking for a great voice and killer personality, with a pretty face... They've got it in me! We'll see, I guess, but I feel good about auditioning there in NY and am excited to head back East for a few weeks.

I am going to start looking for jobs out here pretty soon and back in LA and just see what comes my way over the next month... I was SET on LA and now I'm thinking of working here for a few months and then moving to LA... I still have no idea what I really want to do yet, other than make music... and that I truly love the city! I really miss living in a city!

As I ponder over the past few weeks I remain confused about where I need to be for a plethora of reasons... One, I'm not sure where I WANT to be. Two, I can not seem to decide what exactly I want to do - PR, production, etc... Three, there is a boy in the mix that I did not expect to show his face in my life yet. Regarding the final reason, there is nothing serious established, but I care about him and he cares about me... I can not pin-point what he wants out of our relationship/friendship, but we are both submitting signs to some extent and this new development makes me rethink things from time to time. I will not make a decision based on another person until they are my husband or future husband, but I will also not dismiss my feelings at this current state of our relationship. Hmph.

I've started to write song lyrics once more, and Melody has offered to help me write music for them... My brother could also do that, and I think I want to take that offer and run with it. I watched the movie, "Music&Lyrics" the other day too and it inspired me a little bit... It oddly gave me a reality check at the same time as encoring me to go for my dreams. I am so tried of fear - why not chase everything I've ever wanted??? I would love to put some demos together. I would love to head to LA with some demos under my belt and one of the lady's in my ward has a recording studio she will give me ridiculously cheap prices for if I want to record a little summin' summin'... I'm really diggin' that idea.

*muah*