Sunday, March 8, 2009

Speaking and Listening...

When I was in High School I was Little-Miss-Know-It-All... By that, I do not mean someone show always had to be right. I mean, that I was someone who had to know all the gossip and dirt on everyone and everything. I was like this for two reasons. One, I wanted to be the one that people came to - I wanted them to want to seek me out to talk to me about things and get information or opinions for me. Two, I liked the power that I thought it gave me.

Gossip does NOT give power. In fact, I learned a hard lesson my freshman year about how much gossip destroys friendship, trust, personal image, and sours a person's inner-goodness. It happened in (go figure) my Book of Mormon class during the second semester of my freshman year...

I was really frustrated with my roommate over something I don't even recall now. I sat down next to one of my best friends, a boy in my ward, and started quietly going off about my roommate. I stated, "Do you wanna know what she did?" He retorted with a "no," and said he didn't want to know at all and we'd talk more after class. Class began, and I sat there trying to think kind thoughts, but being very taken aback.

After class, the boy said he would walk me to my next class and he told me this... He said that I was the kind of person that people liked to talk to and be around. That I was fun and attracted people to myself. I had a certain amount of power because of how many people I know and how I connect with them, and that this is a "power" that could allow me to do some great things, teach some great lessons, and be a great example. He went on to basically say that when I chose to gossip I unvalidated myself and created distrust. I displace my own power and lose the ability to be a leader that I was naturally born with.

I was never so taken aback, and yet never taught so many lessons in one moment.

First, I learned how other people can see you so differently than you see yourself. I learned that I really was important, and could make a difference in people's lives and in the world. I learned that being outgoing was an important piece of who I am, and that I needed to live up to my potential. I needed to live up to my gifts to make others feel comfortable, and good about themselves.

I learned the importance of the individual. I began to look at people as children of God, and not a merely vessel for information. I learned that each person was, and is, truly important and deserves to feel validated and cared about. I wanted others to come to me for the right reasons... So I could show them that I cared. I mean, I did care about them before too, but it was not shown in my actions. All that others had begun to see was that they had no reason to trust me or want to surround themselves with me.

I am now a better friend and a much better person... and in turn, I learned how to be happier. I learned that talking about others and finding fault in others, really brings out unhappiness not only in others, but in yourself... Besides, there really are much more intelligent things to talk about the faults of others... Especially when we are yet to be perfect, and usually the faults we find in others reside somewhere inside ourselves. Some may think that it "took me long enough" to figure that out, but I am grateful that I learned that when I was 18 and not any later in life.

I forever in debt and an eternal gratitude to my friend who had the courage to tell me that I was in the wrong. I am thankful for the friend who helped me become a better person, though it was the hard thing for him to do. I am appreciative for the lessons that I learned, and the person that I have become because of those lessons...

Short end of the Stick: Think before you speak, and remember - we are all children of God.

(Sidenote: We talked about this in church today, and it was amazing how this story came to my mind straight away... It has really affected me for my whole life. Thus, I wanted to record it.)


Song of the day: This was inspired again by my favorite show, American Idol - haha! However, it was not inspired by Anoop - even though he is still my fave... :) A guy named Scott, who is blind, said this about the song:

"I chose that song, as far as the lyrics go, because it’s the only song I know that talks about listening, y’know, ‘Listen to the Mandolin Rain’ obviously, but then listening to people’s hearts break, listening to the tears roll, y’know, and listening is such a big part of my world. I thought it was the perfect song to start off this whole live venture...”

We should all do a bit more listening.... it would probably solve many of the problems I talked about above. I fell in love with this song, and the original artist is fabulous - I own many of his songs, including the hit, The Way It Is. Thus, the song for today, Mandolin Rain, by Bruce Hornsby. Below is a fan-made video of clips from Pride & Prejudice, put to this song... I actually kinda love it... :)


Team Carter said...

I was totally just listening to "mandolin rain" on my way home from work. HOLLA!

Recovering Noah said...

Hi Linze,

Thank you so much for stopping by my blog and leaving that sweet message. I really appreciate it!

You seem like an amazing person - and a fantastic big sister. I'm sure your little sis looks up to you in ways you don't know. And, likewise, I'm sure she's had an influence in your life in ways she can't possibly know...

Thanks for the heads up on the AI tickets. I would definitely love for Noah to write Anoop, so I might write to the Events Center once we find out the location.

Thanks again - and good luck with school! It's almost over, right?

Best wishes,
Leslie :-)