Thursday, June 21, 2012

Aware

I just need to record my feelings right now... I am so thankful for the guidance of the spirit in my life.  I have been really struggling over the past week with some decisions in my life and choices that needed to be made.  I don' feel as though be too blunt, but I have highly specific goals for myself right now in my life and things have fallen into place in many areas.  I have been beyond blessed and learned a LOT in my life about how aware Heavenly Father is of me and my personal desires.  He knows me - SO well... and he cares.

I have really learned the power of meaningful, heartfelt prayers and that they ARE heard.  I know that some things don't come to fruition for a greater purpose than the desires we might have... and what a blessing that has been in my life.  I have seen the guidance of a loving, kind Heavenly Father and felt twinges of His frustration when I KNOW something and make another choice.  He knows best - I know that. 

I also learned that I have amazing friends and family.  I have a mother and father who know just how much guidance to hand out to me... and when to hold their tongues and ideas.   I hope that doesn't sound harsh, because that's not the intent.  I just mean that they know me and know how to help me help myself... Giving me answers won't help me grow as much.  As for friends, I have supportive, true friends who am SO good at giving m support and advice, but encouraging me to turn to the right sources (prayer, scriptures, blessings, the temple, family, etc.) for true, full guidance.  They are AMAZING examples - and some of them won't even know it's them I'm typing about because of how subtly they offer their advice just by living the way they do or a fleeting comment they might make out-loud. 

This week I had the opportunity to attend to the temple with some family names in hand - SUCH a great opportunity to connect on a deeper level to the experience.  However, that's not what I'm going to touch on in this entry.  When I was there, I went harboring specific feelings and questions.  I went with vague wisps of decisions that needed to be made... and I went with a LOT of prayer behind me.  One of my friends was texting me about his decision to change a few things in his life because he was reading his patriarchal blessing and really wanted those blessings that have been promised to him.  That simple text inspired me, and I took my own patriarchal blessing with me to the temple.

While I was sitting in the waiting are to do baptisms or confirmations, I studied my blessing and I thought about the goals I have for myself.  I prayed in my heart about my life and the choices I had before me... which direction(s) should I take?  I can tell you that I received SUCH strong promptings and answers to each of my questions, and I made solidified choices and plans.  I felt the Lord's hand guide me... and I felt a change in my direction and in myself.  I felt amazing! 

I know this perhaps seems vague, and it is a bit, but it's not about WHAT I was struggling with or thinking about.  This story is about the truth of the Lord in our lives and the overwhelming gratitude I have for him in answering my prayers in the timing that he did... He did NOT do it right away.  There has been some time of struggling with my thoughts and thinking things through for myself.  I made the decision - he sustained it.  It was just an amazing experience that I can't quite put fully into words.

I know my Father in Heaven lives and loves me.  I know that is hyper-aware of my life and my thoughts - and that he cares.  He is always there for me if I just turn to Him.  I love my Savior and all that He has done for me... and I know that gospel of The Church of Jesus-Christ of Latter-day Saints is true.  

I just needed to express all this because I would be truly ungrateful if I didn't take the time to write it down.
*muah* 

Song of the Day:  I'm in love with this song and this version... GORGEOUS.  I'm also in love with the singer... Here is Marc Broussard with "I've Been Loving You Too Long."  (Tom Jones rocks this song pretty hard too...) Amazing - Enjoy!

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