Wednesday, March 10, 2010

I'll Find My Own Bachelor, Thank You!

So, as soon as I write this post a few of my friends and readers are going to potentially discredit me all together. However, with that said, I am going to write it anyway....

This weekend I had a good chunk of downtime and determined that cleaning my room, writing letters, and relaxing were a must once my errands were done. Along with that, I also determined that with as many comments there were on facebook about it, I should watch this last season of "The Bachelor." Haha! I know, I know... Some of you are not loving that I wrote that, but if you know me then you know I unabashedly love reality television... even though it's not reality. So, I needed a fix and Idol is just not cutting it this year. Not that I'm not keeping up with that, cause I am, but I'm very underwhelmed by the talent's performance this year.

ANYWAY, back to "The Bachelor..." I watched the entire season while I was doing a few other things in the background and have concluded a list of why I would never be on that show:

1. Everything in your love life is SO public. Your life becomes a run for the tabloids and cameras are always surrounding your love life. Now, it's different in my eyes if I were doing music or film... but this is your LOVE LIFE splashed and trashed for the world to witness - it's too tender. It's hard enough singing songs I wrote, but having the world know and see who they were written for, is too much.
2. Along with the "publicness" of your love life, there's the Public Displays of Affection - PDAs. I'm not a PDA person, and kissing someone over and over again on national television would definitely be a no-go for this chica.
3. You're not alone in the man's heart. You're not the only one kissing this man or saying "I Love You" too each other... So you are seeing all these physical moments, and emotional declarations, with other girls and your man at the same time it's going down with you. I have a quote to go along with this thought, "Never makes someone a priority in your life, when you're merely an option in theirs."
4. If you are "lucky enough" to make it toward the end with your dream man you share a romantic getaway with him in some exotic location... Not too shabby, eh? However, two other women share that with him as well, and here's the kicker... The bachelor sleeps with ALL three women in their exotic location to see if they're compatible in that way. This is no joke. People can say that doesn't really happen, but I would be willing to bet it does. That's just crazy to me.... No wonder the last few women are devastated when they leave... They have slept with a man and been dumped the next day! That's wrong. Plus, there is the whole "no sex before marriage" for me, and that ain't gonna change.
5. Living with six roommates in college was hard enough... Now you want me to try living with up to 24 other women at once? Hahaha.... Yea, not gonna happen.
6. The camera adds ten pounds, and though I have lost a bit of weight already being here (yipee!), that would just put it BACK ON visually. Haha... This is not a real reason.

Now, because there need be an opposition in all things, here are the reasons I would go on this show... Haha!:

1. They get to live in a mansion and eventually go on an exotic adventure - um, yes please! Haha...
2. They get their living expenses paid for, and as the season goes on things like clothing, makeup, accessories become television show expenses too. I would LOVE that.
3. You would definitely have some hilarious and fun stories/memories to relate back to after the experiences. It's not really something you can put on a job application, but it makes for good laughs at a cocktail (or soda) party!
Sidenote: Imagine someone trying to put it on a job application... "4th place on "The Bachelor." Skills needed - awesome body, cute laugh, and the ability to make out with a camera in your face.
4. Did you SEE the last bachelor?! (If not, you may look to your left and behold his visual glory. If you have, you may look to your left and behold his visual glory.) Yea, Jake...? Mmm Mmm... I'm just sayin'! Haha... :)

The conclusion, I will NOT be going on next year's season of "The Bachelor." I know you're all shocked and disappointed, but it feels like the right decision. I mean, I'm sure they would love to have me on the show - I totally fit the mold, right? Right? Okay... maybe not.

I'm okay with that. I'll find my own lucky bachelor off-camera, thank you! :)

Sidenote: I know that I'll catch flack for this, but what was everyone hatin' on Vienna for? I really never saw anything wrong with her. She was a bit annoying at times, but not anymore so than a few of the other girls that people loved. Hm... I spent the entire season trying to figure why she was hated - I knew she "won" in the end - and I could never figure it out. I had no qualms with her at all...

Song of the Day: There are a bunch to chose from this time around, but as this article is about "finding love," there is a song that has the lyrics, "No one knows why I'm into you... And no one knows the things we've been through...," which has many felt about Vienna. So, here's a song I'm really diggin' right now by Akon called "Be With You." It's fabulous - Enjoy!

P.S. In the second verse, he says, "Wanna be the one that give you the whole enchilada..." Love that. Haha!
P.P.S. I leave for Switzerland in TWO NIGHTS AND ONE DAY!!!!!!!!!! YES!


Mike said...

Ha ha! Gold, all of it! While I am not a fan of the show (never watched it) I have been annoyed at how everyone is trashing on this Vienna girl, mainly because their main argument goes along the lines of "she's ugly" "she looks like a man" "she's not even cute" etc. I was surprised at this, given that most fans of the Bachelor are female, and tend to be upset when a guy chooses a girl for her looks anyway. The near-religious following this show has baffles me.

Ash and Matt said...

Haha! This post made me laugh, Linz. I'm totally with you on those pro and con lists! And I'm SO excited for your trip to Switzerland!!! I can't wait to see the pictures :-)

Cami said...

Yeah, I was going to try out for the batchelor, but then I realized, hey wait...I'm married to your brother! I'm pretty sure Derek wouldn't go for me being on the bachelor...unless he was the bachelor...and I was the only contestant. Basically we'd just have reality tv cover romantic dates and trips for 2 or 3 months. I'd even fight with people (like the maid) for increased ratings. Take one for the team...

Sue said...

I loved this post! I'm not embarrassed to say that I got sucked into watching this season (okay I'm a little embarrassed). It was pretty entertaining. I will say that I was hating on Vienna a little. She was just a little too immature for my tastes. I just thought Tenley was ubber cute and positive! After watching each episode, I fell in love with my husband again. I was just grateful that I our relationship wasn't anything like those portrayed on the show. Phew! I hope you're having fun in Switzerland!