Monday, January 31, 2011

Intrinsically Emotional

I plan to write an entire entry dedicated to the 2011 Sundance Film Festival, but for now, I'll merely give you a taste.

Sundance is about passion.  It's about expression and the freedom to express one's self without boundaries.  It's about film - art.  It's about raw emotion... and the surfacey ones as well.  I even caught myself getting emotional here and there.  For a woman who is so intensely passionate about everything that means anything or nothing, I seem to hold in parts of my emotion pretty well.  Sundance is about networking and forming relationships.  It's about meeting those who think like you do, or who think completely differently... and it's about accepting those differences for what they are - individuality. 

It was a great experience for me, where I met a lot of amazing people, saw old friends, enjoyed good (and not-so-good) films and music, slept very little, worked like crazy and learned a lot about the industry and myself.  That may seem cheesy, but it's the truth.  I learned more about what I am made of and what I want to be made of - what I want to accomplish and become.  I also learned that in some of those aspects I am clueless, and though that's hard or simply annoying, it's okay. 

Today I saw a film that I had been waiting to see ALL week.  Like Crazy.  I tried numerous times to get in and failed miserably three times before success.  I have to say, I wasn't disappointed, but I also was not satisfied.  It was one of those films that left you wanting.  It left me feeling nostalgic and a bit empty.  I can't say that I didn't enjoy the film - I did... and yet, I cannot seem to put my finger on why I felt so emotional at the close of the film.

In attempt to NOT give away the ending (as the film WAS bought and will be distributed), I will warn that there is a SLIGHT spoiler below this point. 

At the close of the film, the viewer is left with the task of determining whether the two lovers of the film end of together or not.  I suppose that most left the theater and didn't dwell on the topic - they figured this is how the director and creators wanted the film to end it's really not important whether they end up together or not.  I've been out to the film for two hours now and I can't cease thinking about it.  During the film, I never felt extremely emotionally connected to the characters, and yet I must have become just that.  I wanted them to be together so desperately... but in honesty, I felt that though they were physically together, they were elsewhere... and it hurt for some reason.  I can't seem to pin-point why I feel this way, but I knew I had to write about it...

I felt as though the film was central to some part of who I am, and yet I have never been in that particular situation in my life.  I was intrinsically emotional.  

I guess I gave you more than a taste - I gave you a whole slice of the pie.

Song of the Day:  This song was perfect for my emotions today... Eet, Regina Spektor.  How many of us try to "drown out the sound of our minds" because of fear... I'm just learning how NOT to do this... Enjoy!

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