Friday, October 21, 2011

So... I'm an Emotional Dreamer... Good to Know.

I am an emotional dreamer. 

I'm not talking about someone who cries because they are thinking about the dreams they have for their life - though I do get teary whenever I watch Fantasmic or the "Dreams Come True" firework show in Disneyland... You just can't hold back those tears.  I am talking about someone who wakes up strongly feeling the emotions of the dream they left behind upon waking.  I feel like I am still connected to every aspect of the dream - the people, the places, the actions... and the emotions.  I wake feeling still angry, still sad, still elated, still confused, still in love... I feel it all and carry it with me throughout the day sometimes.  Haha...

I know that may appear a bit crazy, but it is what it is... I am an emotional dreamer.

What brought on this confession?

Well, have you ever had a truly BIZARRE dream?  It is one where the location, people involved, and the plot seem to switch about twenty times throughout the dream.  Where it seems to be really long, but studies show that in reality, it's only about three minutes long - if that long.  Last night, I had one of those dreams.  I started in my church at stake conference (surrounding areas multiple congregations meet together for a combined meeting), then I was at a different church.  Then, I was back at my church, but for an activity, which changed to a conference hall where I was watching a movie.  The people in the dream constantly changed, as did the circumstances.  At one point I was wearing a strapless party dress AT church stake conference...?  Yea, I have no idea where half of the things I was dreaming were coming from.

Moving on, near the end of my dream I was back in a church meeting, in rather fancy church clothes, and whispering with a boy next to me.  It then turned into a movie activity and we were in street clothes, sitting close and wrapped up in separate blankets.  We were interacting with each other and the people around us, and we were NOT dating, but we obviously liked each other... Relating to While You Were Sleeping, there was lots of "leaning."  Haha!  It's truth.

We were participating in the simplistic nuances that preempt a potential relationship... The things that you love because they're exciting and fun, but simultaneously despise as they create slight anxiety or confusion.  I am a girl who would truly love nothing more than for someone to approach me and say, "I think you're cute and I like being around you... Let's give this a shot.  Go on a date with me."  Maybe there would be some of the subtle connotations and signs given first, but it wouldn't take forever for honesty and bluntness to leak out.  I'm into that sorta thing... too bad the majority of the world thinks that's a bit too forward.  Eh.  Haha!

Anyway, back to the dream!  There is a point to telling about the dream that ties back to the original theme of this entry - I swear.  (In the words of Kim Kardashian, "Bible!" - That's for you, Katelyn.) I was flirting here and there with the boy and it was returned through stolen glances and smiles or a touch, and then the movie ended.  We stood up and continued chatting while others came up and broke into the time we wanted to spend talking to one another... You know when you can just FEEL that the other person feels the same - and you're spot on about feeling that way?  I've never really felt that so strongly as I did in my dream.  I was SO attached to this person and the emotions presented by the situation in my dream.  It felt SO real... and then my alarm went off.  Yea.

Eventually you have to wake up and slide back into reality.  So, I did just that... but first, I spent ten minutes lying in bed, staring at the clock, grasping at wisps of the dream I had just been a part of so I could see the face of the person I was so connected to in my mind.  Nope.  It never came.  I thought about those emotions all day, but the face never came to me.  I purposely stuck the faces of boys I know in the place, but none of them fit... It was weird.  I think I'm weird.  Haha!  I know it's stupid to dwell, when tomorrow it really will just be a dream and I won't even think about it anymore.  However, I couldn't help it... I was emotionally invested in my imaginary relationship.  Haha!  I was emotionally attached to a fabrication - weird!

This is not the first time that this has happened.  The other week I dreamed that my mom was trying to run a political campaign on the idea that all kids with disabilities should be issued lethal injection for the benefit of the country and I was on the counter-offensive position... running against her and furiously despising her for her cruelty.  I woke up angry and had to take a few minutes to emotionally adjust.  As much as I claim I am not an emotional person, I think that I truly am... I just don't cry a lot.  Still, I have realized that I am an emotional girl.  

My name is Linze Struiksma, and I am an emotional dreamer.  My last emotional dream was last night...

Song of the Day:  I am in love with this song AND video!  There are a few good reasons why, as well... Let me start by saying the video stars Rupert Grint, whom I adore.  To quote an online review,

"The video treatment gives the impression that Grint is playing Sheeran — given the actor’s resemblance to the singer (both Gingers!). It features Grint lip-syncing Sheeran’s song while hanging out on a tour bus and even penning the track on a park bench, among other settings. All the while, you get this unsettling feeling that not all is what it seems — and rightly so.  As the video unfolds, you realize Grint is actually a crazed fan, obsessed with Sheeran, living out this twisted fantasy of being the singer. There’s even an exceptionally creepy scene where Grint is sitting amongst a room of dolls, which all bare Sheeran’s face. Let’s just say, the video is probably every celebrity’s worst nightmare."

Fascinating, right?!  Right.  The concept is SO twisted! I think this is genius and intriguing... and I love the song.  Ed Sheeran is fabulous and I hope his music catches fire here in the US.  He's fabulous.  I also have a slight crush on Mr. Grint - have I mentioned that?  Watch the video and take it for what it is, but also listen  to the song.  Enjoy Ed Sheeran's song, "Lego House!"

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