Sunday, April 24, 2011

Bleeding Decisions... and the Path They Create

Wikipedia says that a girl's night can be defined as the following: A gathering of women who have been invited by a host for the purposes of socializing, conversation, and recreation. A girl's night will typically feature food and beverages, and often music and dancing as well.

Urban Dictionary gives the following definition: A planned event, usually held at a cheesy Irish pub or dance club, where groups of females dress provocatively, flirt incessantly, dance badly, and accept free drinks from desperate single men.

I choose to go with the first definition, as that is my usual girl's night out.  If the latter is the case, my drinks are always non-alcoholic, the clothing isn't so revealing, I flirt only on occasion, and I've got moves when it comes to the dance floor... good ones, in case their was any question in this regard. 

Tonight, we had a much more chill girl's night with girls from both the wards in our surrounding area.  We headed to a home, sat around on the living room floor and couch, and just talked for about three hours.  It was fabulous!  I have to say that a girl's night out can give one a LOT to think about... Of course, we discussed boys here and there, but that is not the basis of a girl's night out - contrary to certain beliefs of those who shall not be named.  Adversely, we usually hold a girl's night to talk about other things and remove our minds from the relationship stresses in our life.  Tonight, the conversation varied.... but all led back to life changes, decisions and growing as an individual. 

We're all at the stages in life where we're moving forward - hopefully avoiding the option of staying stagnant in our development.  We should be changing emotionally, spiritually, mentally... It's amazing how this "decade of decisions" (Thanks for that talk, Elder Hales) comes around to help shape who we are and the direction our lives are taking, or are going to take.

Tonight I realized how powerful a decision can be... how each decision I make seems to bleed into the next.  Perhaps that seems a weird visual image, but it proves that as we break down our lives, we can literally see how even the little decisions we make bring us to where we are today.  Sometimes you can't see the tie-ins now, but someday you will if it's important to you... I'm confident in that.

Example -->  Since I was 4 years old I was planning to serve a mission for my church.  It was on my mental "to-do list" and goal-line.  However, as 21 approached (the year I could put in my papers to go serve), I felt like I shouldn't go... It just felt wrong for me.  I put it aside, and came back to it the next year.  Again, I felt weird about that decision.  I talked with my parents, friends, bishop, and they all told me to just make the real decision and trust my heart, the spirit, and myself.  I did just that.  I decided that I felt wrong about it for a reason, and I decided that I wasn't going on a mission.

I was upset with myself.  I felt a bit dejected spiritually (I know, ridiculous, but it's how I felt...) and somehow "less" than what I was in reality.  However, I got over it... I forged forward and took a job teaching at a local school in Special Education Department, gaining an even stronger love for teaching and education.  Now, I've decided to go back to school and get my Master's degree - a Master of Teaching (MAT) degree.  It was greatly because of the experiences I had while at this school that led me to realize that I really did want to teach.  So, shortly I'll return and become certified to teach Theater and English!

Another example (related) is that because I decided not to serve a mission I remained in UT for a time... and I ended up hanging out a LOT with my brother and sister-in-law, Derek & Cami.  It was one of the best years of my life - they're my best, closest friends.  One week, we decided to head down to the road to a local water-park where my brother experienced a crazy accident on one of the water slides.  It was on that terrible trip that we killed some time by wandering around BYU campus, and I found the little note-card on the Wilk Job Board that led to the Au Pair position in Germany.

That job/experience changed my life... It was my mission, and I mean that quite literally.  I had SO many opportunities to share my beliefs, grow in who I am, learn more about myself and my talents, serve others, and learn a foreign language... well, part of one.  Haha!  Germany truly was where I needed to be for the family I was with, and for myself last year... and all because we decided to hit up a water-park one hot July afternoon.

The decisions we make in life, even the small ones, create our path and provide us opportunities to go places, do things, meet people, learn lessons, and make more decisions.  Each decision we make is fractal (shout-out to Jan for that word-choice!)... Just like a snowflake, or a mirror image within a mirror, the results of our decisions are infinite (even more so that the video below...).

I'm happy that I have made some pretty vital decision for myself that have been positive ones... Ones that keep me from being anything but unfulfilled and stagnant.  In fact, in dedication to tonight's girl's night, my life has been fairly legit so far.  I've carved my own path from one decision to another, and the process will just continue on and on and on... and on...

Song of the Day:  I loved this song when sung by the original artist (Missy Higgins), but this version is great.  I found it on a friend's facebook... Here is Caroline County with "Where I Stood."  A rather poignant song... Enjoy!


n i c o l e said...

You're so amazing, and I just couldn't love you more than I do.

Katria said...

I love Missy Higgins! That really is a great song.

I love you even more, though!

Anonymous said...

Wow this is a great resource.. I’m enjoying it.. good article

Rebekah Evans said...

I love the fractal video - I totally teach my students about them! Totally LEGIT example :)