Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Self-Worth: Discovering Truth

Lately, I have really been contemplating self-worth.  Not so much my own, but self-worth in general.  Additionally, I have been contemplating the power of confidence in your personal worth, as it directly relates.  It's amazing what a little dose of confidence does to empower an individual, and how confidence makes one more attractive.  I don't necessarily mean attractiveness in the form of "boy likes girl" or vice versa (though in that case it's true too), but confidence makes you attract friends - people want to be around you.  You also are more attractive to yourself... sounds weird, but if you are confident and comfortable with who you are, you're a happier person. You want to be who you are.
How great would it be if more people felt that way about themselves?  How great would it be if more people genuinely liked who they were, and embraced their personality quirks, awkward habits, and body image?  I have no doubt that the world would be a much happier place... and we, in return, would be a happier people.

Most of the shadows of this life are caused by standing in one's own sunshine. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Do your thoughts and attitudes about yourself create your own shadows?  Do you allow yourself to live in self-doubt and block out the light you could be giving to others, or to yourself?

As of late, numerous young adult women, teenage girls, and even guy friends of mine have expressed feelings of inadequacy and self-disappointment.  They're too fat or too skinny.  They're too dumb or too smart (feeling as though they need to act less intelligent to attract others).  They're not living up to what their parents or other friends desire for them to be.  They're not cool enough, or they say awkward things all the time (guilty!) and feel inarticulate.  The answers as to why they feel insecure are numerous, and all relating back to being worried about what others see in them, thus defining how they feel about themselves.  In return, others grow to see the lack of confidence and relate it to that individual.  It's a circle - a sickycle cycle.

If you put a small value on yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price. ~Unknown Author

If only these people could see what I see in them...

If they could see themselves through my eyes, they would see the things that I love about them and the lack of focus on the things that bring them self-reservations.  These are bright, beautiful, AMAZING people.  These are people I have found myself feeling in awe of at times in my life.  These are incredible individuals who are loved by SO many around them... I don't know the inferiority complexes behind each individual.  However, I know that they need to let go of those fears that are holding them back from being the best them.  How can you be the best you if you are thinking about the ways you're "not good enough" or fearing what others think about you?

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. ~Eleanor Roosevelt

Now, at times I am my worst hypocrite, and in this area I have failed miserably in the past.  However, as written in my New Year's entry, my goal for the year is to "Simply to be me, and to feel beautiful in all-aspects while doing it - because I am. I'm not perfect at it, but each time I shake off the negative and focus on the positive I get closer to fulfilling my goal.  When I feel negative about who I am, I make myself mentally list three positive things about myself, and I remember that the Savior felt those exact things for me.  At time, it's hard to think about the positive, or even my Savior.  IT'S HARD... You can do it, because you can do hard things.  We were built to do hard things. 

We're about to get personal... just for a moment.  Yesterday was fabulous!  I had a great day subbing, went to a meeting at Westminster about Grad School schedules and focuses in the Fall, and had time to practice voice and work out.  It was a great day!  I was in a fantastic mood.  That evening I three different interactions with friends last night where they told me how great of a friend I was and things they admired about me... and then as I was sitting down to read scriptures before bed something in me snapped.  I have NO idea where it came from, and I'm not one for mood swings.  However, suddenly I was overcome with self-loathing.

I feel good about who I am and am becoming.  The way I feel about my body fluctuates here and there, but I usually don't let it effect me or my mood.  Last night, it was different.

I had spent the whole last two weeks thinking about the power of self-confidence and how all of us are worth all we want out of life... and this was what I was writing in my journal: "It's hard to feel good about myself, even when deep down I know I'm worth it - worth all I could want out of life.  Why can't someone else see that?  Why can't employers see that?  Why do I fall short?"

Then, I wrote the most important piece of information we should take time to remember daily... "I am a Child of God."  I am meant for SO much... and perhaps I am meant for more that what "that person" or "that job" wants of me.  It came out of nowhere, and was the only positive thought that I needed to pull me through, because if you know what that really means, then that's all the comfort that you need. 

When you're down on yourself, remember your worth.  Remember who you are and let that bring your confidence.  Remember that the atonement covers ALL things... including your insecurities and feelings of inadequacy.  YOU are worth everything life has to offer you.  YOU are worth a great job, a nice home, a good family and good friends, a loving spouse, love, and happiness.  You're worth respect and kindness... It might not always happen and you might not always feel that way, but work to because you ARE worth it. 

Wouldn't it be powerful if you fell in love with yourself so deeply that you would do just about anything if you knew it would make you happy? This is precisely how much life loves you and wants you to nurture yourself. The deeper you love yourself, the more the universe will affirm your worth. Then you can enjoy a lifelong love affair that brings you the richest fulfillment from inside out. ~Alan Cohen

Oft times, we are our own worst enemy.  We lean on what others say, and their opinions of us become our mind's realities.  We must discover truth... Truth is who we are born to become.  You were born to be so much more the faults and imperfections in which you define yourself.

Song of the Day: This song connects perfectly to today's entry.  I MIGHT have already used this song in the past, but I just spent a half an hour trying to look through all my entries to see if I had used it and did NOT see it anywhere - I think I just posted in on facebook once.  Eh...  So, here is an AMAZING song that I discovered a few years ago.  "Imagine Me," by Kirk Franklin.  Listen to the words... Enjoy! 


Mathieu said...

That was great! It took me up until a couple years ago to truly be comfortable with who I am and to get over what I thought other people wouldn't like about me (stuff like not serving a mission, being overweight, etc.) It is amazing how life is better when you respect yourself.

Kate said...


I love you! You are wonderful, i think it goes with out saying, i LOVE this post! Thanks for being so real!

Lindsey said...

Linze, I miss you and was deeply moved by this post. Thank you for writing it, and I agree that you are an amazing person, worth everything that you seek!